Hits and Misses

Well, this is an interesting journey. I haven't had much trouble with the booze or caffeine. Sugar seems to be the monkey on my back. I have been drinking a ton of water but the food and exercise have kind of died. I have two weeks till my reunion (Aug 28) so I am going to redouble my efforts in these last two weeks. In retrospect, it might have been a little psychotic to drop everything all at once. Kind of like a smoker quiting smoking while also starting a diet while also training for a marathon. It's a little unrealistic. However, I do believe I have kicked my caffeine habit. Alcohol was never a big issue but it's nice to know I don't need it. Sugar is like my heroin. That's what I'm going to concentrate on in the next two weeks as well as the exercise. All in all, this has been a very interesting experiment. We all know that we prefer things but do we really know how much we need those things. I am hoping to unburden myself if I can from a few of those things. So in conclusion, so far, I have been successful in the alcohol and caffeine department, not to successful in the sugar and exercise department. All things considered, I'm OK with that.

Back on track

Okay, last week was a bad one. I strayed from "perfection" on thursday, and again on saturday night. But sunday morning, I recommitted to the project and have been good ever since. To help keep me on the straight and narrow, I did a big shopping excursion to Costco, and now I have a fridge full of convenient, healthy food.

If I can just get through the next two weeks without slipping up again...

Self-realization

One of the things I didn't expect from this ... project? experiment? whatever was an insight into my character. I was having a bad week. A very, very bad week. It was all self-generated, as well, which was interesting.

You see, I was in a meeting on Wednesday morning, and I experienced a moment of clarity. I realized that in almost every way, I am worse off in terms of my career than I have been in over ten years. Granted, the one exception to that is that I'm making more money now, but in terms of progression, growth, and having a career path, I am completely stagnant with little to no hope of that situation changing in the foreseeable future.

Needless to say, this realization depressed me much more than I care to admit, and I have been struggling with that depression ever since. Last night, I really couldn't handle it, and ended up heading to the beer and wine store and purchasing both.

This led to the further realization that I lack coping skills and use alcohol as a crutch.

7 Days!

I'm 1/4 of the way through and I have to say it's getting easier. I thought I would die last week from caffeine and sugar withdrawal but it seems I didn't. What I have discovered is that I don't need them. I think I was mostly using them as filler like a smoker wastes time smoking. And to make it worse, I was conditioning myself to always be consuming something. I am hoping that by the end of this I will not only have kicked my coffee and pop habit but also the need to consume.

I have made a few mistakes (we can call them accidental cheats: ordered a diet coke and lime at a pub without thinking, never knew decaffeinated coffee still has some caffeine and drank diet Lipton Green Tea without checking, it does have a little caffeine as well). Now that I know this, I will avoid those items and be more diligent in the future. I think I've been eating too much fruit as well. Now, fruit is not refined sugar but in excess it kind of defeats the point of not having sugar.

Here is a question I am wrestling with: Should I drink 0 caffeine pop like Fresca, Diet Sprite and Diet Root Beer? They don't have any caffeine naturally but I'm trying to kick my pop habit. Just substituting no caffeine pop for regular pop won't help me get out of that habit. I'm torn I guess. On one hand it would be nice to have a nice cold pop after work but then I will have less water. I think for the sake of this challenge I will say no, then revisit the idea later.

This week is a big week for exercise (so far, a little lacking). I am doing something almost every day between running, tennis and circuit training. I think if I can get the lined up I will be very ahead of the game. It's funny, I really love athletics but I get in this lazy state where I don't want to do the preparation for it. Once I am out there, I really love it. I think I need structure. I think I will make a calendar where I map out what I will do one what days, that way it's less random and hodge podge. Ok, I don't know if anyone is reading this other than Lara and myself but here I am workin it anyway. Cheers