Self-realization

One of the things I didn't expect from this ... project? experiment? whatever was an insight into my character. I was having a bad week. A very, very bad week. It was all self-generated, as well, which was interesting.

You see, I was in a meeting on Wednesday morning, and I experienced a moment of clarity. I realized that in almost every way, I am worse off in terms of my career than I have been in over ten years. Granted, the one exception to that is that I'm making more money now, but in terms of progression, growth, and having a career path, I am completely stagnant with little to no hope of that situation changing in the foreseeable future.

Needless to say, this realization depressed me much more than I care to admit, and I have been struggling with that depression ever since. Last night, I really couldn't handle it, and ended up heading to the beer and wine store and purchasing both.

This led to the further realization that I lack coping skills and use alcohol as a crutch.